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  • Writer's pictureDwight

The Power of Patterns: Recognizing and Responding to Dynamics in Relationships

Recently, a fellow coach told me about a client who failed to attend a session. The client had previously shared that she had trouble keeping commitments and finding closure. We were reminded that when people tell us who they are, we should believe them. The coach arranged to get her client to commit to a final session. In that session, the client was gifted an opportunity to see the relationship come to a structured close.


In the dynamic world of relationships, patterns emerge, shaping the way we interact and respond to each other. These patterns can be positive, fostering connection and growth, or negative, leading to friction and resentment. It's crucial to recognize these patterns in ourselves and our partners to navigate relationships effectively.


The story of the coach and her client highlights the importance of acknowledging patterns early on. When a client consistently fails to show up for sessions, it's a pattern that warrants attention. The coach's decision to arrange a final session, providing closure, demonstrates sensitivity to the client's patterns and a commitment to supporting their growth.

"The phrase 'how you do anything is how you do everything' emphasizes the pervasiveness of patterns, suggesting that our actions in one area often reflect our overall approach to life."

Buddhist wisdom holds relevance in personal relationships. The phrase "how you do anything is how you do everything" emphasizes the pervasiveness of patterns, suggesting that our actions in one area often reflect our overall approach to life.


In my relationship with my partner, I have recognized a pattern of triggering old wounds, leading to temporary flare-ups that eventually resolve. This pattern, while challenging, is indicative of our willingness to learn from each other and strengthen our bond.


Acknowledging and addressing relationship patterns requires self-awareness, open communication, and a commitment to personal growth. By understanding our patterns and their impact on our partners, we can take steps to break negative cycles and cultivate more fulfilling connections.


Here are some key takeaways for recognizing and responding to patterns in relationships:


  1. Be observant: Pay attention to recurring themes and behaviors in your interactions with your partner.

  2. Communicate openly: Discuss patterns with your partner constructively and empathetically.

  3. Understand motivations: Seek the underlying reasons behind your partner's patterns.

  4. Take responsibility: Acknowledge your own role in contributing to patterns.

  5. Seek support: Consider professional help if patterns are causing significant distress or hindering the relationship.


Relationships are intricate and ever-evolving, shaped by the patterns we bring into them. By recognizing these patterns, we can embark on self-discovery and relationship growth, fostering deeper connections and creating lasting partnerships.


Please get in touch with us for a no-obligation discovery session to see if we can support you as you navigate your relationships.


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