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  • Writer's pictureMaddox

The One Thing That Will Absolutely Keep You From Having What You Want

As human beings, we all have a deep desire inside of us. That big dream.

Maybe, it’s the dream career, where you are valued and acknowledged for your genius.

Maybe, it’s the dream of leaving a legacy. You want to innovate something that changes the world.

Maybe, your biggest dream is to build a wonderful family with a loving mate and great children.

Take a moment to pause and reflect on your biggest dream. Perhaps, it’s something that you have lost sight of in all of life’s distractions.

While there’s a variety of things that could prevent you from realizing this dream. There is one undeniable piece that will absolutely prevent you from realizing this dream.

There are so many variables in life that can stand in our way. Most are external challenges.

What I’m talking about is an internal challenge that most every human grapples with…


As a small child, I received so many messages that told me I was not good enough.

Every time I brought home a report card, my father would focus on the subjects I did the worst in, completely disregarding the things I had done well.  He would say, “You can do better than this.”  In my young mind, this translated into “You’re not good enough.”

I was not a very masculine boy.  As a result, the boys in school continually ridiculed me and picked on me.  This was magnified by the male coaches doing the same.  Even some of the teachers chimed in.  I recall a senior English teach standing me in front of the whole class and then asking why I couldn’t be like Alan?, one of her teacher’s pets.

During gym class and even in the neighborhood I grew up, the kids would fight over who had to have me on their team, if we were playing some sports game.  I was always the last kid to be chosen.

Once again, SO many messages telling me I wasn’t enough.

Although the circumstances are possibly different, most every human being can relate to my story, on some level.

“Unworthiness is the single largest killer of our dreams.”

It is more powerful than all of the external challenges combined.

You see, when we believe we are unworthy, no matter what awesome things come our way, our internalized unworthiness will always cause us to sabotage anything good because we secretly don’t believe we deserve anything that good.

"Your ability to accept your good is only as strong as your self-worth."

I have sabotaged many relationships because someone showed up that was really great and I couldn’t stick around.  I would screw it up or I would run like a rabbit.  Getting away from the person as fast as I could.

I spent decades in personal growth and awareness work to find some shred of worthiness inside of me.  I’ve been in several failed relationships with people that were not a good match for me at all, yet I settled.

Now, at 67, I’m in a loving relationship with Dwight, a man like no other man I’ve ever known.  I can see that he only showed up in my life because I was finally in a place of worthiness.  I have told him that if he had shown up even two weeks earlier, I wouldn’t have been ready.

FACT:  When you feel unworthy, you literally select relationships, jobs, friends, cars, homes, and anything else that is less than what you truly desire.

“Settling for less” is actually an expression of unworthiness.

I’m not saying that you may not have to overcome all kinds of challenges to manifest what your heart desires.  I’m saying that even after you have overcome every challenge, if you haven’t addressed the unworthiness, you won’t realize your dream.

Now, I’m not claiming to have it all figured out.  I feel confident in saying that I have figured it out in the relationship arena.

Life has many facets and I will work on my worthiness until I take my last breath because I believe in myself and know I can do it!

All that said, worthiness plays a vital role in your ability to manifest Connections, Community, and Belonging.

If you know that worthiness is an issue in your life, reach out for a no obligation discovery session.  We can help.



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