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  • Writer's pictureMaddox

The Little Known Secret That Enhances the Value of Every Relationship

In every relationship I have had, I can look back and clearly see a pattern that played out in each one of them.

Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, most of the time things start off on a good note. For a period of time everything is wonderful and you’re getting along beautifully.

And then comes the day when the other person just seems to have an uncanny ability to push your buttons. Perhaps this is familiar to you. If not, take a moment to reflect back on a handful of your relationships, friends, and romance. Are you starting to see a possible pattern?

There are several things at play here. One, as we get to know people, and get closer to them, they naturally have the ability to touch us in our tender spots. Those spots that trigger old wounds. Two, people, situations, and the world around us have an uncanny ability to reflect us back to us.

“People come into our lives to illuminate the unhealed parts of us.”

In more simple terms, people come into our lives to illuminate the unhealed parts of us. When your loved one punches your buttons and triggers those old wounds, that’s the Universe’s way of shedding light on what you need to heal.

This is one of the profound beauties of relationships. Once you realize how this works, when conflict arises and you feel triggered, you can stop and remind yourself that this person that is upsetting you right now is doing part of what they were sent here to do… To help you see what you need to heal.

While this is something that can show up at any time during the relationship, often, it takes a while for this to show up. There is a certain level of closeness that needs to happen for it to show up.

Frequently, when someone says, or does something that triggers us, we react with words or an action that, in turn, triggers them. If you’re not aware of this dynamic, it can spiral into something dark and ugly.

I get that this may be a foreign concept to you. I can assure you from my own lived experience, this is a real thing.

Recently, Dwight and I had an experience where he said/did something that triggered an old wound for me.  I then reacted in a manner that trigger one of his old wounds.  We spent about two and half days out of sync before we could calmly discuss what had transpired.

Once we became aware of this phenomenon, it provided us with options and opportunities that had not previously been available to us. Now, as soon as one of us realizes that we are triggered, we signal the other one and share what’s going on with us. If we can catch it before it spirals into something dark and ugly, we can calmly discuss what old wound is being awakened.

Identifying the wound that needs to be healed, opens up all kinds of possibilities. It’s an opportunity to explore forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others, and anything else that you might need to do to free yourself of this old wound.

I am in no way, suggesting that you can free yourself in one discussion. It is likely that you could need the support of a professional therapist or coach.

If you would like to take advantage of a no-obligation discovery session, please contact us at



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