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  • Writer's pictureMaddox

How to Use Creative Rituals to Build Deeper Connections

We’re all aware of how rituals around holidays bring loved ones together.  This can be anything from Christmas to Halloween.  While I love these kinds of rituals, I’m actually talking about something a bit different.

I don’t know about you, but I find the energy at family holidays to be frenetic.  Everyone is talking all at once and often talking over each other.  While it’s fun, it’s not conversations that connect people on a deeper level.  Sometimes, I can pull a family member away from the crowd to share something of more substance.

That said, I am going to talk about a different type of ritual, something you create for you and whomever you choose to share it with.  Something a little less conventional.  Here are three examples.  With a clear intention and the unlimited creativity of two or more people, you can come up with endless rituals that will help you connect more deeply.

First, I am going to talk about a group ritual.  I love thinking up various ways in a social setting to build a unique ritual that isn’t something that everyone has already experienced.

For New Years Day, Dwight and I invited a handful of people over.  We had young and old, single and coupled, gay and straight, male and female, and a variety of skin colors.  Everyone brought their favorite takeout.  We shared lunch and lots of laughter.  In advance, we had told guests that we would be focusing on a ritual about reflecting on the year past, setting intentions for the coming year, and opportunities for connection.

We used a deck of picture cards called Points of You.  We focused on the images and how they related to our experiences.  It was thought provoking, and at times, enlightening.  The process took about two hours.  The conversations became so engaging that it was challenging to get their attention for the next step of the process.  The convos ranged from deeply serious to full out laughter.

Everyone had such a good experience.  My main takeaway was how humans are so inclined to focus on differences, but this process illuminated how similar we are on an internal level— despite our obvious differences.  It actually shifted the focus from differences to similarities.  It was beautiful!

By the end of our time, everyone was hugging each other and sharing how happy they were to have met each other.

You’ve heard me say in previous posts, this is my happy place!

Second, I am going to talk about a more intimate ritual that’s great for couples.  Dwight and I frequently take a warm bubblebath together.   Now, that may not readily sound like a ritual.  For us, it is.  We draw the bath, add lavender scented epsom salt crystals and some bubbles.  We light a candle on the corner of the tub and play some really soothing music.  We have a large garden tub, but I use the term lightly because I’m 6’4”.  No indoor tub is really large enough to comfortably accommodate me.  To compensate, we sit facing each other with our legs wrapped around each other’s waist.  If we weren’t in the tub, we would look a bit like a large spider…  LOL

Although this was not the intention when we first started taking soak baths, it organically blossomed into a very special time when we talk about deeper aspects of our relationship.  After all, we’re face-to-face and only a few inches apart.  It has become truly a magical time for us, with magical conversations filled with deep intimacy.

One more example, with less explanation.  Mealtime is very much a ritual at our house.  We prepare most meals together.   We each have our strengths and we lean into those.  I’m more of the cook, but Dwight has become an excellent sous-chef.  While I’m managing the recipe, time frame, utensils and appliances, he chops everything that goes into the recipe and starts cleanup.  We work like a well oiled machine and it definitely plays a positive role in our level of intimacy.

Bottom line, getting creative with rituals is an excellent and fun way to create connection with anyone you desire to have more connection with.

“Ideas are meaningless unless action is taken.  What ritual will you brainstorm in order to bring more connection into your experience?”

There is a reason that we are the Connections & Community Guys.  It’s what we do best.  If you ever feel like you need support in creating friendships and community, reach out for a no-obligation discovery session.  We got you!


Points of You: The Coaching Game



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